Rotten Eggs

Rotten Eggs

Henry’s mother put him in charge of the hens, even though he was only nine years old and still not very big. There were about forty laying hens, and a dozen or so pullets, kept in a special house with a window of wire netting to let the sun and fresh air in. There was also a run. That’s a big area enclosed by wire netting where the hens could run outside, scratch in the soil and have a dust bath without getting into Dad’s vegetable garden. Henry’s job was to feed them morning and night, make sure they had plenty of drinking water, collect the eggs and also feed them scraps left over from the family’s meals. He also gave them green waste. The green waste was from the garden, like cabbages that caterpillars had eaten and the lawn clippings. The greens made the egg yolks nice and orange. Everyone likes orange yolks!

In the morning he made up a wet bran mix for the hens, bran’s a bit like porridge for hens, it helps them to lay lots of eggs. In the evening Henry fed the hens wheat and collected the eggs. One evening, he was late because he was listening to the Superman serial on the radio, so when the ads came on, he remembered the hens – chooks as he called them – he’d forgotten to feed them! Well, he ran to the henhouse with a potful of wheat, biffed it into the henhouse and scarpered back to listen to the rest of the story. But Dad saw him and he was frowning, he asked Henry if he’d spread the wheat around as he was supposed to. No? Well go back and do it then! Dad wanted it done properly. So Henry missed the end of the story and the best part when Superman said, ‘Up, up and awaaay!’ That taught him to do his jobs properly first time around, because it saves time in the long run. It would have taken only a few seconds more to spread the wheat around the first time!

Sometimes the hens would hide their eggs. There were nice nest-boxes, another job Henry had was to keep clean straw in the nest-boxes so the eggs didn’t break when they popped out, but sometimes he would find their eggs hidden around the henhouse or even in the run. By the time he found them, they were usually rotten. If you shake an egg, you can feel if it isn’t balanced and it sounds slushy inside. He was happy to find rotten eggs though so he kept them in a special place because he had a use for them. Did you know that rotten eggs stink? They really, really stink!

Sometimes the boys in his neighbourhood had mock wars. With pretend guns made out of sticks, and sometimes with hand grenades of lumps of dirt, clods. Errol’s dad used to grow tomatoes, so Errol and his friends would throw rotten tomatoes at Henry and his friends!  Well, Henry and his friends would throw rotten eggs back! If an egg hit Errol or his friends, they would get into trouble with their mothers because their clothes stank so, so much!  Oh yes, Henry and his friends used to get into trouble for tomato stains on their clothes too! But it was fun!

The Heathcote River wasn’t far from where Henry lived, so he, with his mates made eel spears and during months with R in them – eels are only in the river during months with R in them - so those months, they went down to the river to catch eels. The best bait was to use an old, ladies stocking, put some rotten eggs into it, and anchor it in the river. Then smash the eggs! What a stink! But it attracted the eels! They came like black, slithering snakes in the water! One time, Henry poked his spear at a big one, lost his balance and fell head-first into the swirling, hungry eels! Ewww! He knew eels bite really hard and because their teeth are curved, they can’t let go! He felt their slimy skin on his face, hands and legs, but he was too quick to be bitten! He was out of the water like a rocket on Guy Fawkes Night! But then he had to explain to Mum how he got all wet and what the yellow, smelly stuff was on his clothes. Mum always rolled her eyes at his stories!

One day during the holidays, Henry hopped on the tram to go a few stops from Johnny Martin’s shop was on the corner of Valley Road. He was going along the river to meet Kevin, another friend who wanted to catch some of the eels he had seen by his house. He took half a dozen rotten eggs with him in a brown paper bag and sat them on the seat beside him. He was looking out the window and saw a puppy running along the road and worried that he might get run over! He didn’t notice the woman looking for a seat. She was a BIG woman with a big round bum! Well… before Henry could stop her she sat down beside him. Right on top of the rotten eggs! He could smell them straight away! She had a long pointy nose and he was sure she would smell them to!  But no, she didn’t seem to notice, probably because she sprayed a lot of perfume under her arms. Henry thought he was in real trouble now!  As the tram slowed close to the next stop, not the one he wanted to go to, but he was keen to get off! He stood up and was ready to rump out the door as soon as the driver opened them! As he darted off, he took a quick glance at the BIG woman, she was twitching her nose – her bum would be getting wet soon too!

Henry ran straight home! He gave up collecting the rotten eggs! For a while.